Psychedelic rising thoughts

                                                    You still can hear me
                                   You still can feel me 

                                   You still can fear me
                                   Who am i ? 

                                   What i'm made from ? 

                                   It doesn't matter ...
             

                                    I'm you ! 

                                    I'm inside your head 

                                    I'm feeding from your anger
                                    I see what you see ...
                                    You are myself !

                                    Twisted inside your own combination
                                    Your voice seems to be unheard
                                    But , Were you speaking ? 

                                   

                                    You are safe , 

                                    Yes you are .

                                    Can they get to you ? 

                                    NO.
                                    But i can ...
             

                                    Is that true ? 

                                    It's reality ,
                                    Not truth .
                                    Lie is a reality
                                    Am I lying ?
                

                                    Feelings ,
                                    Rage and anger
                                    Love and harmony
                                    But are you feeling this ?

                                    This shift , this wave
                                    You are dead , i'm your grave
                                    But , are you dead ?
                                   
                                    

                                    You are feeling cold,
                                    You scratch your back ,
                                    Your hands , your neck ,
                                    But , are you warm yet ?

                                    You try to get out of my control
                                    You are stuck , stuck here
                                    You scream hoping that
                                    You'll find somebody out there 

                

                                    Silence , deaf silence ... 

                        

                                                                    

                                                             sincerely yours , 
                                   
    

                                     


              

Rain above Pain

It's raining
Falling drops on the grass
Twisted winds over hanging bells.

I hear it coming,
I'v heard it once before
Every time it happens
It's striking again...

My blood freezes
My hole body squeezes
My soul tases
The whole bunch
Of deadly nightmares.

Who can fight it ?
Who can deny it ?
I'll deal with it ,
I'm just part of it

Screaming with all my power
No one to hear
i'm all alone
.
.
.
Gone away
Gone noway
Lost finding my way
I'm getting back where
I'v began .
To the place, where
I've just met you
Just to remember ,
That tricky smile,
That trapped me unto your world
...I kept walking tall
In the deepest dark halls
Wondering if I'v ever had seen you before
who are you ?


Now, i remember
You are the angel
Who locked me six feet under
Can i get out ?
Can i survive?
I wonder . . .

It still raining
                                                               Ismael_ak

falling under magic tricks #Trick1

I was there 
Sitting right there 
Sinking in the ocean 
Of lost and found memories 
                                                                                       
Something stole my attention
Something stole my gaze 
Something stole my heart 

And since , 
I fell in front
Of heaven's gates 
It is too soon to knock ? 
Is that an angel, 

Witch with i need to talk ?             

I took a look around 
I saw nothing . . . 
Absolutely nothing 

I took a deep breath 
I felt nothing 
Absolutely nothing 

Fear     , pain 
Anger    , hatred 
Darkness , lost 
Seems to be nothing
While looking on those eyes 

Those twinkly little eyes 
Those eyes that dragged, 
That dragged me down 
To the last safe land 
After the apocalypse  
                                 
                                                                To be continued  . . . 

i was born to kill you my dear

close your door 
close the windows
i'm down the floor 
with my bows and arrows 

i called your name 
you couldn't answer 
i felt that shame 
and that gave me power 

i'm here for you babe 
i'm here to kill
i swear i love you babe 
in that love i'll still 

a gun , a knife
or just strangle 
to kill you , 
i don't wanna hear a whistle 

i would bury you 
in my backyard garden 
i would sleep over your grave 
i would drink up your ashes 

if you're gone 
my soul is relieved 
my confession needs no priest 
just go go go
go away ! 

where are you , 
where are you now 
i'm getting close
i'm hearing your voice
i'm hearing your breathing 
i'm smelling your perfume 
and i'm wondering . . . 

who is gonna kill me after ? 

                                                                                                     @ismael_ak

20 cigarettes in a hand , one gun in an other

In a chair facing a window
he was siting there
a table carrying his elbow
his mind wasn't here

                                                                           
20 cigarettes ,
as much as his left hand can carry
A gun ,
to bring balance or maybe peace
balance to his right hand
or peace to both of them

20 cigarettes ,
each one represents one thing
in his miserable life

one for a name that he is ashamed to say
one for a unknown family that dropped him away
One for not having friends
one for his job
one for his career
one for his forgotten girlfriend
one for his dead wife
one for his lost kid
One for him
.
.
.
one , a number
that he will be counting
as long as he smokes
as long as he forgets
as long as he survives
as long as he suffers

Or one ,
One move to make end to that
a painful end , but it could be the end
Pulling the trigger
a little piece of metal
will bring peace and order to his life
isn't that right
no one would be asking
no one whould be searching
no one whould be missed


time can't be stopped ,
not in his watch ,
not in his right hand watch ,
he keeps thinking.

Smoking kills ,
Problems too .
he can't get over that ,
a hungry ghost is purchasing him
where to go ,
who to trust
where is the exit ?

tic, tic, tic
time is running
NO ring calls
He mad a choice :
Suicide at 5th Avenue

                                                             Ismael_ak

What was i thinking ?

The night before, I made you mad
I wasn't appreciating, the love that I had
I came home so drunk, I was really quite late
I left you alone, sitting home there to wait

I was too self involved, I wasn't using my head
cigarettes took over, its hunger I fed
I was smoking too often, I thought I was fine
Too blinded to realize, the problem was all mine

I was never mad at you, I was mad at myself
I let life pass me by, seemed it was on the back shelf
I blamed all of my problems, on everyone but me
Destined for ruins, and alone I would be

I made a bad choice, I should have been there with you
My greatest mistake, and there was nothing I could do
I tried to get sober that night, but made it worse than you know
I hated myself, cause I resorted to blow

That night I never came home, cause I felt too much shame
You'd be able to tell, and there was only me I could blame
I text you that night, to say tomorrow I would call
The next day with a hangover, I would for-get that all

I went through my next days, scared you'd be mad
Hiding ashamed, not thinking you were sad.
I forgot I had hurt you, I couldn't remember last night
My words cut you deep, on the phone in our fight

You wanted to love me, to work through it all out
I didn't know that, I was too scared you would shout
I gave it some time, to get my head straight
I took way too long, how long should you wait?

You had now left me, When I got my priorities in line
I wanted to marry you, but you were no longer mine
I cried and I lost it, how could I mess up so bad
this had all happened, cause I spent to much time being mad

I got over my issues, I finally see clear
I was drinking and hiding, I had too much fear
The old me is gone, but how could you know
I wish I still had you, how I wish that was so

3 little paragraphs

The grey began to fade,

As the colors filled the sky,

The chill began to warm,

As the sun began to rise.

A lost girl found direction,

As the eastern orb rose high,

The dark sky turned to blue,

Like the color of his eyes.

Dark turned to light,

Grey turned to blue,

Lost became found,

That's when I met you.